Letting Go of the Hate

No, pigs didn't fly and as far as I know Hell is still hot, but I DID talk to my ex-friend who is now living with my husband. She came with Paul to drop the kids off one day. My blood was boiling. I couldn't believe this piece of junk brought that huzzy to my house. I thought all the way to church how much I hated the two of them. I hated them for hurting me and my kids. I hated them for being able to be happy while I was in agony. I hated them for breathing. Once I got to church the lesson was on anger. I realized that I had focused too much on the people who hurt me. I had let the anger and hatred interfere with my relationship with God. I decided that I was letting it go. He was gone, I had known that for quite some time. Why was I wasting energy hating them? I was exhausted. It was time to give it up. Now, please don't get me wrong. This new epiphany was not going to result in double dates or cookouts with them. The best I can do at this point is stop hoping they contract a flesh eating virus or their eyeballs fall out. And guess who texted me the next day! Yep! Devil woman herself. What a coinkie dink! I answered her questions about Reese's Jessie doll and why her kids call me Pookie. Then I just came out and asked her, "How is it you can talk to me like this now, but on facebook and in public with your family and friends you hate me and berate me.?" We had a long chat via text messages, and got to the bottom of some rumors she had started and some issues that I had. Then, for the first time in 10 months (to the day, no doubt) I got a heartfelt apology from someone I used to consider a close friend. I'm not sure forgiveness is ever going to be possible. Even in the Bible for a person to earn forgiveness there has to be a change in the behavior or actions. For now, I can only let go of the hate and move forward with my life. I think this is another important step in the healing process. No, I'm not over it. If I never saw either of them again, I'd be just peachy. But I am so done with the obsessing over the how and when. I am sick of getting upset over people who obviously didn't care about me and who are a complete waste of my time and energy. Now, I am embracing my new life. I can start over and be whatever I want, including a little less bitter....just a little. :)