To My Favorite Boy On Your Birthday

Dear Carson,
One year ago today the doctor laid a precious 7lb 2oz baby boy in my arms. I can't describe the feeling I felt when I looked at your chubby little cheeks and counted every finger and tiny little toe. I lifted your cap to see a full head of dark, soft hair. You looked a lot like your big sister did when she was born. I will never forget the pride that I felt. I was so proud to hold you after waiting so long for you. I didn't realize it till that second, but I had been waiting for you my whole life. The day before you were born some yucky grown up stuff happened that left mommy in a lot of pain and very scared, but when I held you close to me I forgot it all. It was like you were meant to save me from the hurt. You were my gift from God. You and your sister completed my life. When Daddy decided not to live with us anymore, I thought there was no way I could do it without him. I was so scared that I couldn't give you and Reese what you needed, but once I held you and felt your sweet little hand on my face I knew I would do whatever it took to give you and Reese the life that I promised you. In the past year, you have brought me so much joy and laughter. Your smile is what I live to wake up to each morning. When you say "Mama" my heart melts. Your sweet, slobbery kisses make my day, ever day! People tell me how strong I am and how I'm a good mom, but it's you and Reese who are the strong ones. The two of you make it easy to be a good mom. I named you after your Grandaddy because of his generosity, his strength, his love, and his forgiving heart. I hope that these are all qualities you will get from my amazing daddy. I hope that one day when you are old enough and you hear stories about before you were born and right after that you will be strong and loving and forgiving. I pray that you will not let the mistakes made by me and your father affect the relationship you have with either of us. I hope you never forget how loved you are, not just by me, but by lots and lots of people. There have been so many people who were there for us and helped us get through this past year. I love you Carson Wesley, and I plan on spending the the rest of my life showing you and Reese how thankful I am to have you. Thank you for giving me a reason to smile. Thank you for giving me hope and happiness again. Happy first birthday little man! Mommy loves you and will do everything in my power to protect you and give you the kind of life you deserve!