To my precious baby girl...

"We need to teach our daughters how to distinguish between a man who flatters her and a man who compliments her, a man who spends money on her and a man who invests in her, a man who lusts after her and a man who loves her, a man who believes he is God's gift to women and a man who remembers that a woman was God's gift to man. "

A friend posted this as his status (which I thought was adorable that a guy posted it) and it brought tears to my eyes as I read it. I began thinking about my sweet little girl. Sometimes as a mommy I lose sight of the big picture. I get so busy trying to teach her rhyming words, inside voices, and not to put my makeup on that I forget to use every opportunity to teach her about becoming a Christian woman. Granted, these are very important, age appropriate lessons; but I need to do more. I looked through her baby book the other day, remembering what it was like to be a family with a mommy AND a daddy. I read the letters I wrote to her the day I found out I was pregnant and the day she was born. I told her that I was already praying for a strong, sweet boy that would grow up to be her husband. In the midst of my own boy drama, I quit praying for that little boy. My prayer has become a plea that she will never feel the pain that we have felt in the past year. I think somewhere in my scattered head that I decided she should avoid it all together, all because of the pain her father caused us both. That is not only unfair to her, but an injustice to that little boy that I used to pray for. The one who could love her the way she deserves and be lucky enough to be loved by her. My little girl has a heart that knows no bounds. It is tender, kind, forgiving, and so full of love. I want her to share that with someone one day. Someone worthy of her. Someone who will cherish her, respect her, and grow with her. Someone who will stand by her and love her enough to never leave.

I know there is no gurantees that he will never break her heart. Boy,do I EVER know that. But when I think about the day of my wedding. The day I promised myself to her daddy. I want my little girl to know that feeling. I want her to be overwhelmed with the love that she feels for her mate. I want her to be able to look into his eyes while holding his hands and say "I do" with no hesitation. Outside of the birth days of my two babies, my wedding day was the happpiest day of my life. Regardless of the outcome of the marriage, I have no regrets. I loved him with all my heart and I made those promises with forever in mind. My job is to teach Reese to be selective and choose someone who she believes will put God first and his family second. I need to show her the importance of finding a man who will be a good father to my future grandchildren (WHOA! I have never said that. Feels weird!). I want her to love and to be loved, but the right way, the way God intended. My promise to both of my kids is to do everything I can to prepare them to be a good husband and a good wife someday. It's scary, I am scared I will make one wrong move and mess them up for life. I am scared they will look at their paternal being and think that is the way things should be done. This just means I need to work harder to teach them the sanctity of marriage. I need them to understand the meaning of "til death do us part". I need to continue praying for them, but also I need to begin praying for their future husband and wife.

So thank you Clifton Angel, for your wonderful post that caused this chain reaction in my brain. :)


This is the letter I wrote to Reese

Reese Katelyn,
Today I was reminded that one day you will grow into a beautiful woman. I try not to think about you growing up. I block out the fact that my baby girl will will not be a baby forever. But on these rare occasions that I let myself think about the not-so-distant future I think of all the things I want for you.

First and foremost, I want you to remember God. Put him first in everything you do. Pray, pray, and then pray some more. I want you to know that you are loved. There are so many people who love you, but no one loves you like your momma. Sweetheart, I prayed a long time for you. Even before I met your daddy, and you are a living breathing answer to that prayer. You have brought me more joy than I could ever describe. You and your brother are the best things that have ever been mine. I also want you to know that me and your daddy were happy at one time. I loved him and expected to be with him forever. Grown up stuff happened that had nothing to do with you and Carson. I hope that you will always remmeber our trip to the beach. I will always believe that was the happiest the 3 of us ever were. (4 if you count Carson in my belly)

I want you to cherish your baby brother. Be an example to him. Stay close no matter where in life you are. Your Uncle Bubba is one of my best friends on this earth. Be there for Carson when he needs you and lean on him when you need him. Your brother will always look up to you. He will ask you for advice and stand up for you when you need it.

I want you to work hard, be honest, and love with all you have. Forgive those who hurt you. Don't be afraid to cry, ride roller coasters, or fall in love. Never give up on your dreams and your goals. Be choosy when choosing your friends and even choosier when choosing a husband. Study hard in school. No, you won't see the need for Algebra at the time, but it will come in handy later. When your heart gets broken, I want you to remember it won't hurt forever and you will most definitely be stronger on the other side. Be selfless, and help others. Stay loyal, wither it's to your favorite football team or your best friend. I would like for you to play softball, but if you don't want to I won't be disappointed. But if you do decide to play, practice hard and be proud of your accomplishments no matter how small, and never slide into home head first!

I want you to appreciate your teenage years. Don't wish your life away. But keep in mind every action has a consequence. What you do when you're young doesn't vanish with old age. Always apologize when you are wrong. Learn from your mistakes. Learn a second language. Make moments count. Slow down and breathe them in. Hold your babies close as long as they will let you. Love your husband completely. Take a cooking class. Don't waste your first kiss, make it count. And if a boy loves you, he will wait for you.

Respect your elders. One day you will realize they knew more than you thought they did. Find something you are passionate about. Don't waste your talents. Use your hard headedness wisely. Wear sunscreen. Never, EVER, settle in anything. Strive for great, not good. Embrace your roots. Fairy tales can happen, you just have to work at it. Appreciate your in-laws. Know how to change a tire and drive the speed limit. I want you to make good choices. When in doubt, read your Bible. Take lots of pictures, you will be glad you did one day.

Reese's Pieces, I just want you to be healthy, happy, and have the life you dream of. I love you more than words can express and will be with you every step of the way. It's ok to be scared. It's ok to mess up. It's more than ok to want your mommy every once in a while no matter how old you are. And baby girl, I will be there.

Love,
Mommy